The Invitation

So I’m 21 now but all week I’ve felt small scared and unsure like I am 5, I guess it will just take me time to adjust. I had a beautiful day at Cavalli Estate, it was so special to have all the people I love the most in one room. I didn’t give much of a speech but I shared with everyone the poem I try and read most days, It’s called “The Invitation” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

My beautifully curated group of friends.

My beautifully curated group of friends.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human. It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’ It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

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It’s my party I’ll cry if I want to

For the past year and a bit I haven’t been to a birthday and not cried, birthdays are such a scary thing for me, people getting so excited about life is scary and then I feel bad for not getting as excited about life as other people do. It’s my birthday on Sunday and I was telling my psychiatrist how scared I was for it, and he told me the most comforting thing. He said, “Just see it as something you have to do and you don’t have to be overly happy it’s just a day but other people want to celebrate you so give them that chance.”

tumblr_njymxuXu6B1qb14s6o1_500My birthday wish for myself is to not forget that it’s okay to look after myself.

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“She held herself until the sobs of the child inside subsided entirely. I love you, she told herself. It will all be okay.”
— H. Raven Rose

I’m back I think.

I don’t want this to be a fashion blog anymore although that being said I will still share shoot’s I find beautiful and inspiring. I want to write about life and what hurts and the people places and things that make my heart happy and share with you some of the music and quotes that help me get through my day.

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I was so lucky to be able to Intern for this talented designer when I lived in London a few years ago, here is her latest collection “The Fragment collection”

Photography: Nhu Xuan Hua
Styling: Aldene Johnson
Model: Mili Gáname Next Models
Makeup: Martina Lattanzi
Hair: Roger Cho
Photographer Assistant: Shawn Paul Tan
Retouching: Anne Sophie Auclerc

New year, New Journey

Once again I have taken a blog break, I promise I’m going to try and post more often. I started studying photography at City Varsity a few weeks ago and for the first time in a while I feel inspired to create, to be a good friend to people, to just in general be a better person. I’m currently working on my art history homework and thanks to Trevor I found this beautiful photo-set of holy men on India.

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Photos by: Joey L