Dear city I live in

1. You are not kidding anybody with all of that fake Burberry.

2. Please don’t just pour your beer on my street after every single game at Arsenal Stadium…

3. I know it’s getting warmer but the sun has only been out for about a week now. There is no ways you got that orange so quickly. Ease up on the fake tans huns!

4. Please stop rushing like lunatics to get on the tube.There will be another one in no more than five minutes, I promise.

5. If you try to talk to me and I don’t answer the first time, please stop trying… I’m not interested. x

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